You probably have some ideas about what you want to be, do, and have.

But do you know what’s underneath each one?
Do you know WHY you want those things?

–> It’s because of how you think they’ll make you FEEL <–

That’s what’s really driving you. It’s not the identity, the accomplishment, the material thing.

It’s how you think you’ll feel when you get it that is the actual desired outcome.

This is great news!

Because if you identify the FEELING, you’ll be better equipped to actually get there.

AND you may realize that you can achieve the feeling way before you reach the actual goal.

Which in turn will help you reach the goal even faster, because by feeling the feelings of having the thing you’ll attract the thing to you more easily #manifestation

Let me give some examples.

💪 Let’s say you want to be really fit and strong. That’s a great goal in and of itself because longevity, health blabla. But once you dig a little deeper you realize that what you REALLY want is to feel confident in yourself. And you think that once you look a certain way you will.

Great! While you work on your fitness, you can ALSO work on your confidence from within (by learning radical self love and how to accept and believe in yourself in a badass way). That will help you feel the feelings sooner and also support you on your way.

💙 Or let’s say you want to find a partner. You keep thinking if I only had a partner, then I’ll be happy. But once you dig a little deeper, you realize that what you REALLY want is to feel loved and accepted.

Great! You’ve identified a very core human need that we all have. The cool thing here is that while you continue doing all the things (meeting people, figuring out what’s important to you in a relationship, blabla) you can be ALSO working on learning to feel loved and accepted regardless of your relationship status. And that starts within.

🤑 Or perhaps you think what you want the most is more money. If you could just make 6 figures, or pay off your debt, or save to buy a house, then you’ll be happy. But once you peek behind the curtain you see that actually what you REALLY crave is the sense of freedom you think that will give you.

Great! While you do all the real life things to make more, spend less, pay off debt, or otherwise increase your wealth, there are a TON of other things you can be doing to feel more free.

Everything from learning to detach from caring so much about what other people think, to cultivating killer confidence, to learning the magic of manifestation, to shifting into living in an abundance paradigm, and the list goes on.

So ask yourself what you want. Like really truly deeply want.

And then ask yourself how those things will make you FEEL.

Once you know how you want to feel, you can work on learning how to feel that way sooner, long before you actually achieve the goal you have in mind.

Make sense?

For example, some of my core desires are to feel ALIVE, AWAKE, and FREE.

I know that to feel alive, I can do things like exercise, dance, connect deeply with others, jump in cold water, practice mindfulness, listen to music that moves me, and do things that are out of my comfort zone. I can do those any day!

To feel awake, I know I can feed my soul with inspiring and empowering content that teaches me how to think differently and be the conscious creator of my own reality. I know I can practice being intensely present and self aware in any given moment.

To feel free, I know that while I’m working on the practical aspects of increasing my location freedom, time freedom, and financial freedom, I can also increase my sense of emotional freedom through a daily focus on personal growth, where I practice forgiveness, heal old wounds, identify self sabotage and so much more.

So, if you want to be, do, and have more in your life, get clear on what those things are, and especially WHY you want them.

Identify how it is that you really want fo FEEL and then figure out how to create those feelings now.

Then you’ll be well on your way.

I originally wrote this piece in April of 2012 when I won the listserve‘s email lottery. It has since become somewhat of a manifesto.

You are a unique, badass, and multi-faceted human being. There is no one else even remotely like you. Who are you to withhold your greatness from the world?

Why would you waste a second of your precious time pretending to be someone else? How dare you hide your gifts from us? Why would we want you to be like every other [insert category here] out there?

We don’t.

We want you. The authentic you. The real, genuine, imperfect, weird, quirky, REAL you. Anything less than that is not enough.

Just be you. It’s the most amazing gift you can give to yourself, to me, to everyone in your world, and everyone in the world.

It’s easier for some people than it is for others. If it’s hard for you, make it your life’s work to search for and find your authentic self. There is nothing more urgent.

Take full responsibility for your thoughts, behaviors, actions, the consequences of those actions, and the impact you have on people around you.

Be grateful. Appreciate and love what you have and what’s working.

Seek clarity. Figure out what you like, what you want, and what’s important to you.

Make decisions based on what’s aligned with your values and what you’re passionate about.

Learn to let go of the things/people/thoughts that don’t serve you or steer you toward happiness and fulfillment.

If you know what’s important to you, it’s easier to know why you are doing things and what things you should be doing. Don’t waste time doing things that are not related to what’s important to you.

Dare to be emotionally accessible, vulnerable, and to expand your emotional range. Go for depth, richness, and honesty. It’s raw, it’s terrifying, and it’s exhilarating.

Whatever you are, whoever you are, and whatever it is that you’re all about – OWN IT.

Be unapologetically you. Know what you’re about and pursue your dreams with an open heart and genuine passion. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s fine. But it’s not your problem.

Seek resonance. This is where the magic happens. Don’t fear it. Embrace it.

Be alive. Be real. Be you.

I dare you.