In honor of Pride Month, I thought I would share my coming out story with you.

The photo above was taken at a photo shoot I did right around the time I was coming out and I feel the vibe is very spot on.

So!

I am bisexual. In case you didn't already know that... surprise! 🙂

On some level, I probably always knew, but growing up in the 80s and 90s, that wasn't really something you talked about.

Plus, as a kid and through high school, I was the the ultimate "good girl" in every way. Just trying to fit in and be normal. Not trying to ruffle any feathers.

College was... a different story. I was hungry for an edgier experience. Ready to unlock my true self. Luckily, UCLA was a very open-minded and safe place.

To my surprise and delight, the true self that emerged was... rather sexually empowered!

I LIKED her.

She was mischievous. Playful. Wild. Free. And definitely also into women.

It all kind of started with an Angelina Jolie poster in my dorm room. Specifically, her lips. They became a kind of conversation piece. An excuse to gush about her hotness. A subtle way to signal that I was... open.

Eventually, a second one made things a little more obvious. The iconic "Kiss" poster, by Tanya Chalkin. Look it up. It's GORGEOUS.

There were some innocent, but notable, moments while I was studying abroad in Italy that finally opened the floodgates.

It started with a few classic college drinking games. Taking body shots off of each other, spitting ice back and forth across the room, and other such shenanigans.

Naturally... I got creative.

I remember creating a game where, similar to the tequila shot where you lick the salt off your wrist then bite into a lime, you had to lick some sugar off the other person's body, then eat a cherry tomato out of their mouth.

It was a hit with the people, lol.

I started finding all sorts of "excuses" to basically make out with girls. It was easy to pretend I was doing it for the attention. But it was pretty obvious I didn't need the audience.

At that point it was clear I just loved women. (And men!) I loved humans. I loved physical touch. I loved playfulness, authentic connecting, and intimacy.

To seal the deal, on my 21st birthday, I had my first threesome. With a male friend and a female friend. At a party. In the room where everyone's coats and bags were. We kept getting walked in on!

It was hilarious and amazing, and the next day, everyone in our study group kept giggling and winking and holding up 3 fingers. I don't think I've ever blushed so much, while also feeling so completely exhilarated and alive.

And seen in my authenticity.

From then on, it was ON. And I have been flying my freak flag ever since.

It's important to note here that as a white, married, cisgender woman, I have a LOT of privilege. Most people assume I'm straight. I've faced almost no discrimination or harassment, since I came out 20 years ago.

I used to feel guilty about this. Like I wasn't a "real" member of the LGBTQ+ community because I hadn't had to struggle like so many others.

Ultimately, I let that go because I recognized that my guilt wasn't helping anyone.

Now I know that my experience is valid and that, actually, I have an opportunity to use my voice and my platform to stand with and fight for those who don't have a voice (or don't feel safe using it.)

And I intend to do so.

If my story inspired you or moved you in any way, I'd love to know. Hit reply and let me know what resonated.

And please know that I am a safe space for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community and anyone striving to be an ally.

Feel free to share this anywhere and with anyone who might find it helpful. I'll share it on FB, IG, and on my blog as well.

Thank you. I love you. Let's do this.

In gratitude + joy,
Sandra