Radiance: be that person who lights up the room

The radiant ones.

We all know someone. It’s that person who walks into a room, practically glowing, and it’s as if the room itself takes a deep breath and lets out a loud sigh. Time becomes suspended for a moment, all eyes are drawn in their direction, and the space fills with a new, buzzing energy. It’s like they’re literally lighting up the room. Or maybe heating it up.

This has always fascinated me. I am highly sensitive and empathic and I feel not just my own emotions, but the emotions of others around me, as well as the energy of a space, so I can’t not notice when it happens. And, I don’t know about you, but I want to BE that person. Sometimes I am. 

Not consistently (yet), but hey I have my moments!

It feels amazing. And here’s the beautiful thing. It’s not about anyone else’s reaction (although the attention is nice!) because it’s actually about being in such a state of internal bliss and happiness that other people’s reactions don’t matter.

So, what exactly IS that radiance? That glow. That PRESENCE.

Some might argue that it is about physical appearance. The beautiful people! They’re the lucky ones who experience this. And I would disagree. Some might say it’s all about style! Dressing the part, wearing high quality clothes, and having good personal hygiene. I would disagree again. Others may claim that it’s about charisma. And I would say, depending on how you define charisma, that yes that’s part of it.

But the main point is that it’s INTERNAL not external.

While external factors like looks and fashion can certainly play a role and influence other people, the real magic behind this kind of radiance lives entirely inside of us.

Really, it’s all about energy. And that energy – the flowing, glowing, pulsating, radiant life force coursing through our bodies – is available to all of us. ALL. OF. US. Regardless of looks, gender identity, race, occupation, sexual preference, education, socioeconomic status, abilities, or anything else.

It is simply an expression of our connection to ourselves and our relationship to the world around us.

And let me be really clear about this: It has NOTHING to do with arrogance. In fact, I strongly believe that arrogance or any sense of superiority is actually an expression of insecurity. Because real, authentic confidence has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s not about being better than anyone or anything.

True confidence, which gives people that magnetic radiance we are all so naturally drawn to, has absolutely nothing to prove.

We are all capable of cultivating this kind of presence in ourselves. I believe it comes more naturally to some people than others. I also believe that many of us have been through a variety of shitstorms (e.g. conditioning, trauma, abuse etc.) in our lives that have shaken our foundations and caused us to doubt ourselves in a number of different ways. And that’s okay.

As one of my favorite authors, Jen Sincero, says: “It’s not your fault that you’re fucked up. But it’s your fault if you stay fucked up.” The point is to not waste any time blaming anyone else for where you’re at. And instead, to focus on doing whatever it takes to establish a healthy, functional relationship with yourself.

For those of us who, at one point or another along the journey of our lives, became disconnected from ourselves, getting back to that place (that healthy, functional relationship with yourself) takes practice.

To get there, commit to learning how to love and accept yourself, trust yourself, and believe in yourself. It may take work and it may take time, but it’s more worth it than I know how to explain. Do it. You’re worth it.

Then from there, you just start to turn up the dial on your inner fire until you are so unshakably confident and irresistibly magnetic that you light up the room.

Do the work. Take the time. Love yourself. SO THAT you can be the person who lights up the room (without worrying about what anyone else will think). When you are living from the inside out, you will not only feel way better, but you’ll be able to have a more meaningful impact in the world. And that’s freedom. That’s fulfillment. That’s badassery.